The Rat Race

Have you ever felt like you have been surrounded around people that are surpassing you? Or you often attract people that aren't doing much with themselves and once they meet you, your every move, innovative idea, step you take they are now acting like your shadow. Girl this has been my story my entire life. I realized that enjoy building relationships; I have a knack if you will to attract people in all walks of life and give them the missing link. However, in doing this.. I often cant see the single white females I attract.

I found that often I become overwhelmed with frustration once these people I meet show me that they don't have a brain or a plan for themselves. It seems like every idea I share or create becomes there idea or journey. It drives me insane. I hate it! It drives me crazy! It makes me feel like I cant have nothing to myself... or I cant be authentically who I want to be if I am around certain people that copy every freaking thing I do. Ugh.. the nerve of some people!!

I would often have this talk with my oldest sister. I would share my frustration, irritation and annoyance with people who I brought in my intimate circle that quickly showed me if they could take over my life they would. My dear sister, would share with me that "a copycat is your greatest compliment". I would often tell her that I didn't care for the compliment because I wanted my own identity. I wanted to have what I wanted for me...just for me!!

I had to grow up.. and learn that every move I make shared or not.... I had to move differently. I had to realized that although I wanted to share my secrets, joys, accomplishments, ideas, thoughts etc. It wasn't for everyone. I started to learn how to move silently and be selective in what I share or who I shared what with. This has been a great lesson but if I were to speak frankly I would say it has been quite a challenging one at time because I wanted to continue to be me. But in being me... I became frustrated, jealous and often envious of people that I shared my dreams with. I think the biggest thing I struggled with is how could this person I trusted and shared with take my idea's and make it an reality. Or at best walk into something I have worked so hard for soooooo easily?

This is where I had to figure out how to move differently, how to select better friends, associates, affiliates etc. This is where I learned how to protect my core and protect what matter most importantly to me. The biggest lesson I learned was to CLOSE MY MOUTH. Moving forward ladies I encourage you to protect your core. Be selective in who you share with. But most importantly never ever forget that the journey your on is specifically for you and in due season you shall reap a harvest....

Until we chat again,

Confessions of a Insecure Woman




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