I have often thought that I was taking care of me and I was "all good" but I soon realized that I was not taking care of me at all. I had to actually think about what self care looked like to me. I thought about the things that made me happy and the things that I often wanted from a male counterpart. Then I realized that I wasn't happy at all. I was only happy when someone else did those things I loved so much for me. Bad call!!
I realized that I could do these things myself with no ulterior motive in mind and be just as happy doing the things I loved myself. So I did.. I started buying me flowers, one bouquet for every room. I started buying myself a wonderful, thoughtful gift every two weeks (you know payday), I took me out, I got dressed up and felt good. I even left my girlfriend(wig) on at night and wore something appealing just for me. I kept my car cleaned, I took long walks
I watched the stars at night, I bought me perfume, I took myself out to a comedy show, I ate the best of the best at fancy restaurant, I spent quality time with me. I started to remind myself of the happiness I could have with just me. I also set a standard for the king that will come my way when I am ready of course! Then I realized I got to know me... I started doing other self care techniques like closing out negative energy. I started to build a better relationship with God and deciding to have quiet time to meditate. I looked at what I was consuming in my body and mind. I looked at the people I had surrounding me and examined are they benefitting me. I desired peace and was on a journey to have it...
You would not believe that once I spent some quality time with me I realized that I did not care about me at all. I couldn't have expected anything more from someone else than what I was giving myself and that was sad. Queens I challenge yourself to spend time with you, do the little things you enjoy doing with a counterpart and treat yourself to those things your enjoy receiving. LOVE ON YOU.. it is literally the best gift you could ever receive.
Until we chat again,
Confessions of a Insecure Woman
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