You know .. I absolutely love what I do.. I work in the field of social work! I help create a safety net for children, coach parents to be more productive parents, simply put I help to mend broken pieces.. it’s like my super power!
I realized though that because I love what I do it typically transfers into my personal life. I tend to pick up projects in friends and men.. the process is simple I pour into the project, give my all and sometime later realize I was the only person pouring into the relationship/ lack thereof a relationship. I literally find myself much more empty than when I initially met the person.
Ladies think about this for minute. You have that girlfriend that is always sad, broke or in between relationships. You have that man that makes you feel like he is holding you down, but the reality is if you stop working today, you and him would be homeless. The co-worker that has no drive or motivation and your having to constantly assist or build them up. Its no secret. When we don't know our worth we cant pick anything better. Its not a conscious decision either. This is typically what occurs when we are in our unconscious state of being.
Projects for most women make us feel wanted, needed or empowered. Projects give us a sense of purpose and boosts the ego! "I got a huge Ego"(in my Beyonce voice) However, projects in people are not what we need to fill those voids. Think back when the last time you picked up a project or a project picked up you. How did you feel once you attached to that person? When did you realize that this person was not what you assumed they were? How did you feel when they left? I can almost guess.. EMPTY. Those kinds of relationships are often draining and self-defeating. You are giving your best to the very person that is leaving you empty.
STOP IT, the next time you see or even begin to feel like this person is a project RUN! Remind yourself that a relationship or any kind should have balance, support, care, love on both sides. Remind yourself of who you are and what you have to offer someone that is truly deserving. If you thrive off of feeling or being needed; volunteer at a local charity, help out at a school, volunteer on a ministry at church but whatever you do don't be available for another project ever again.....
Until we chat again
Confessions of a Insecure Woman
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