I can remember a time where I was in love, I mean let's spend every wakening minute together, lets wear matching clothes, lets tell secrets, lets introduce each other to close friends, or forget our friends... we will be each other's friends! The list goes on and on. I remember how consumed I got with that person; I remember losing my identity. I remember not really caring about having an identity because the love I felt replaced it all; until it didn't.
My mother use to say, "Shelby love and hate is like front and back of your hand". Of course, me "ok mom, muttering in my mind, she just doesn't know what I feel on the inside and how he feels about me". I never prepared for the fights, disagreements, the distance or even the ending of a what I considered a beautiful "meant to be relationship".
Reality hit and the love I once felt left, the cute things I once admired left and it wasn't so cute anymore, I mean going to the park to eat dinner was cute every now and then but boy take me out to eat somewhere that I can dress up for and sit at a table! LOL. The pain I felt I can replay in my mind like it was yesterday. I felt like I didn't want to get out of bed, I did not want to engage, I didn't care to answer the phone, I believed this pain would never end! Ok that lasted all of two weeks! I of course had an annoying girlfriend that wouldn't allow me to wallow in bed and well that was when those memories that I held so close faded...
I remembered how cute I was, I put some smell goods on and there I was out being a boss. I mixed and mingled and decided I was ready again. Ugh or was I really just wanting that pain to cease and be a distant memory? I was back at it again. Mr. Romeo came up and he was FINNNNNNNNNNE, I was Juliet, he came to save me, right? The excitement started all over again. I was caught in another trap. Why do you ask? It's because Romeo was dressed in a different suit but had all of the same if not familiar tricks.
This is one of the most common mistakes we as women make! We select or desire the same dog with what we believe are new tricks. Queens I am making a plea with you, take your time before jumping back on the horse. You aren't missing anything and believe me you are worth the wait!! Do your inventory. Pay attention to the flags (Red bright Flags). If you don't like the behavior don't excuse it, Please Please Please don't believe that if you don't settle there will never be another opportunity. Listen to your mind NOT YOUR HEART AND DEFINITELY NOT YOUR VJAY, both are liable to get you in trouble.
Most importantly remember you are worth more than rubies and because you are so precious in God's sight you can't risk another heartache! You are just toooooooo precious!!
Until we chat again,
Confessions of an Insecure Woman!!!
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